CELEBRATION!!

Today marks a momentous occasion: my 50th blog post! (noisemaker blows in the distance) I never would have thought when I started in July that anybody would actually read my blog, much less that I would end up with fifteen actual followers! I know that that number is miniscule compared to thousands of blogs out there, but I don't care! At least when you have a small number of readers, you know that that small bunch truly cares about you.
So today I am posting a list of things I will never do.

       10 things I will NEVER do

• Compete in a decathlon. Or even know what all the events in a decathlon are, for that matter.
• Play major league baseball. The multi-million dollar salary would be nice, though.
• Go to college and major in English. Who cares if I can diagram every word in a sentence?
• Eat anything that is either on fire or still alive.
• Murder someone. Intentionally.
• Do drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol. I'm weird enough by myself without any help from those.
• Play the violin part of an orchestra piece on a cello just to show off. Not that I can play either of those instruments well enough to do that anyway.
• Run for President of the United States. We'll see about the Student Government.
• Write a globally acclaimed literary masterpiece. I'll be glad if I get an 'A' on my research paper.
• And I will never, EVER stop eating chocolate. Unless I suddenly develop an allergy.

Anyway, if you ever catch me doing any of those things, feel free to slap me upside the head. Just warn me before you do it.