Wednesday, December 13

Self Care

This semester has been one of the hardest of my college career. Between teaching, accompanying, classes, and studying piano, let's just say things got more than a little overwhelming at times (most of the time). I cried the first time I sat down and wrote out my daily schedule of obligations because I realized that most days, I had only 30-45 minutes of free time. I had countless breakdowns in practice rooms because I felt like I was failing at everything I was doing and letting down everyone who was counting on me. I even skipped class for the first time. It was ROUGH, guys.

But I lived to tell the tale. This semester took a lot out of me, but it also gave me back a lot of knowledge and wisdom and maturity. I anticipate that real life is also inclined to be stressful, and I am thankful that this semester provided the opportunity for me to explore healthy methods for dealing with stress. While it certainly wasn't the most exciting or important skill I learned this semester, I'm proud of myself for learning to focus on self care once in a while.

I had never even heard the term "self care" before this semester, and then it seemed like all of a sudden it totally took off. Suddenly everyone was Instagramming pictures of their venti Starbucks, Netflix, aestheticy brunch plates, delicious sugary delights, manicures, etc...

And don't get me wrong, I am so down for all of those things and I think they're definitely a big part of self care. However, I think self care should be considered a two-step process. The Starbucks and brunch stage is more of a "treat yourself" step, and to be honest, it's by far the more fun side of self care. I read this article on self care recently and it inspired me to really think about taking self care further than the treat yourself phase. It speaks about how self care should not be escaping your life, but taking steps to make your life such that you don't have to escape from it on a regular basis.

When we continue past the treat yourself phase is when true self care begins. Learning to distinguish between the two approaches and training myself to choose the better option is definitely going to be a long process, but this difficult semester gave me the opportunity to focus on and improve this life skill.

For example, when coming home after a long day of playing for voice lessons all morning and then having classes all afternoon:

Treat yourself says, "Go ahead and grab a few cookies and curl up with a fuzzy blanket and some Netflix."

Self care says, "You will have a much harder day tomorrow when you have to perform in piano studio and you haven't practiced for two days straight."

While both of these options make sense to me, one of them is giving me an escape and one of them is keeping me from having to escape again later.

Self care is not only preparing to make the future better, though. It is also finding ways to focus on the present and to emphasize the beauty of the moment before you. This semester I started cooking and baking several times a week (because who doesn't love food, amen?). I also grew two avocado plants in Mason jars on my windowsill and bought a sketchbook and a set of watercolor pencils and made myself clean my room and organize my closet and started exploring the world of essential oils and started working out.

Self care can take many forms, and it should look somewhat different for each individual person. The treat yourself step of self care is great and important, but it should not be the only focus. If we are caring for another person and the only way we showed that we care about them was constantly showering them with gifts without showing any concern for their life or their emotional health, that does not show true care for that person.

And of course, let us not forget that the most important part of self care is maintaining a healthy relationship with Christ. He is the one who truly and wholly cares for us, anyway. Be cautious of the self care mentality to be sure that it never diminishes or removes our need for God and His love and peace. No amount of focus on self care without an ultimate focus on God will ever bring comfort and satisfaction.

This semester has been one of the hardest of my college career, and as I enter my second to last semester in a few weeks, I look forward to more difficult days to come. However, with the knowledge of true self care and the discernment I learned this semester, I go into those days more equipped now to choose a life from which I don't have to escape, but that I can live in the strength of the Lord, every moment of every day.