On swag bro

So you think you've got swag?
Indeed...people like to get all up in my face with t-shirts, bracelets, and hats telling me all about their swag.
Which is fine, of course...but I must ask :
Do you even know what that means or where it came from?
Since obviously you DON'T, please allow me to educate your face.

Definition of Swag
Noun
An ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, and greenery: "ribbon-tied swags of flowers".
Verb
Arrange in or decorate with a swag or swags of fabric.

Let me get this straight...you've got an ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, and greenery?
Well...to each his own, I suppose.
What's that you say? Swag is but an abbreviation of a more appropriate term - swagger?

Definition of Swagger
Verb
Walk or behave in a very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive way: "he swaggered along the corridor".
Noun
A very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive gait or manner.
Adjective
Denoting a coat or jacket cut with a loose flare from the shoulders.

(Thank you, Google)

Seriously? You want to be "arrogant" and "aggressive"?
Since I assume that when you tell me you've got swag, you are not referring to your jacket, I must believe that you wish to be arrogant and aggressive.
Now comes the fun part.
I have heard several things about when the word "swag" came into use these days, and I have decided to ignore all of them.
I don't care how it came about. It's awesome because William Shakespeare invented it.
Yes, Shakespeare made up the word swagger, along with over 1700 other words.
And my dear readers, I must say it.
Yes, I got swag.
Shakespeare swag.