My Mid-Life Crisis

Hey guys, look - it's me!

No, really! Allow me to explain.

Fun fact about me: I'm a sucker for online personality quizzes. Since I have no hope of ever understanding me on my own, it's only natural that I should resort to the omniscient Internet for assistance.

There's only one problem.

Those quizzes are grossly inaccurate.

Oh sure, I was pretty thrilled with the results of the "What's the Color of Your Aura?" one (pink) and the "What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?" one (the gentleman - naturally).

But then I decided to take a risk. I did something so hugely unprecedented that...well, it was so unprecedented that there is no way for me to even describe the unprecedentedness of this unprecedented event.

There's been this one quiz popping up all over Facebook the last couple of days, taunting and teasing me, tempting and tantalizing. And I just couldn't resist.

"Can We Guess Who You Are in Only 20 Questions?"

Now I was pretty curious about this one. How specific was this thing going to get?

Would it know my name?

My age?

My favorite color?

My deepest, darkest secrets?

So I set out on a quest to figure out who I am.

The website asked me deep, personal questions like, "How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?" and "Do you prefer beef or chicken?" (Chicken, in case you were wondering)

I pressed on through question after question, determined to discover who I am. Sweat dripped from my brow, my head ached from the extreme mental strain, my hand cramped until I thought I could never let go of the computer mouse ever again, I almost gave up hope, and then...

It ended.

The quiz was over.

My quest to find myself was complete. I breathed a sigh of relief, wiped tears of joy from my cheek, and eagerly began to read:

Here is our best guess at who you are:
1. You are female.
2. You are currently in your mid 40's.
3. You are raising a beautiful family, you have a career you're quite pleased with.
4. You've recently started volunteering in your community. 
5. You are taller than average, you have gorgeous dark hair and beautiful brown eyes.

...

Sayeth what?

Either I'm having a mid-life crisis, or....or....this quiz is wrong. Very, VERY wrong!

(I double checked on my Facebook page, and I'm still an average height, blonde-haired, hazel-eyed teenager with no children or career who likes to sleep instead of volunteering.)

So guys, I think I learned a valuable lesson today: The Internet has no idea what it's talking about 80% of the time (because they at least got the female part right).

And neither do I.

Adieu.

I Don't Volunteer

One of the latest developing fandoms is the Hunger Games fandom. And even though I wouldn't say I'm a member of the fandom, I did read the books and I've been watching the movies. And I am kind of a fan of the whole shebang. But not a member of the fandom. A fan, but not a fangirl. Get it?

But I was thinking last night while I was methodically raising and lowering heavy objects to develop muscular strength (because "lifting weights" sounds so terribly unladylike) and I arrived at a sobering conclusion.

I would die immediately if I was a Hunger Games tribute.

Here's why.

Reasons I wouldn't stand a chance in the Hunger Games

1. I lack a sense of self-preservation.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me, but I just have this tendency to forget to look both ways when I cross the street, or to not think that the math building bathrooms at school are pretty terrifying. Example: the other day we were at the park and I was climbing on the playground (naturally) and Cam wanted me to come join him on one of the other platforms. Rather than climb down the stairs and up the ladder, I decided to work my way across the elevated labyrinth of doom, and only when I was nearly finished did I realize that 1) I don't have a good sense of balance, 2) I was about ten feet off the ground, and 3) I would have hurt myself pretty badly if I fell.

Genius.

2. I don't have any survival skills.

If you've watched either of the Hunger Games movies, you'll remember that the tributes train for some time before the actual games to develop their skills for surviving in the arena. 

But I have no skills whatsoever.

Camouflage - nope. Brute strength - definitely not. Stealth - LOL you're funny. Hunting - no. Traps - no. Super cool knowledge of electricity and all things technology so you can attach copper wire to a tree so that when it gets struck by lightning Katniss can shoot an arrow into the arena dome and basically break the Hunger Games (oops spoiler) - uhhh.

3. I would have no sponsors whatsoever.

I can't think on my feet or be adorable or anything like that when I'm under pressure. So when I was being interviewed by the weird smiley guy for all of Panem to watch LIVE...

I would just totally freeze up and not be charming or anything and nobody would be plugging for me. And then I would be sitting there in the arena trying to Instagram a picture of the nightlock I found ("Gonna make a berry smoothie!! LOL #happyhungergames") and then my phone would die and I would need a charger cable.

And I would have no one to float me a charger cable in one of those magical silver balloons. Because I was uncharming.

4. I have not a lot of pain tolerance.

I can remember probably six different times that Katniss was basically mortally wounded in the arena and just gritted her teeth and survived. Meanwhile, I kicked a dumbbell last night by accident and I cried for ten minutes while cradling my poor toes.

My dad has a bunch of cactus plants in our backyard (because what could possibly go wrong?) and one time I got one of the spikes stuck in my foot. We spent probably thirty minutes sitting in the kitchen with me crying and screaming like I was being murdered (because I sure thought I was) and Dad getting gradually more and more frustrated until he finally ripped the thing out of my foot. And it didn't even hurt that much. I just don't like pain.

5. I can't climb a tree or jump over logs or swim or do anything in a non-clumsy way.

Rather than try to explain this one to you, I'll just show you a few images that should help you understand the extent of my clumsiness and why this would contribute to my ultimate demise.

My first comment when the movie showed the opening of the games where the tributes are all surveying the arena while standing on their little pedestal things that blow up if you move off of them before the official start was, "I would fall off and get blown up before I even had a chance to be brutally murdered..."

6. I'm too polite.

It's a little difficult to kill people when you wouldn't even call them a bad name or cut in front of them in line.

And so yeah. That's why the Hunger Games is not the game for me.

So as far is this is concerned...

Yeah, no. No thanks. I do NOT volunteer as tribute.

True Confessions

I turned sixteen about a month ago, so by my own standards, I'm now officially old. When I was turning ten I thought I would never make it to sixteen. I couldn't wait to be older and have more independence and get to do all kinds of fun things. But now that I am older, and I know what it's actually like, all I want is to be a toddler again.
So sometimes I like to channel my inner screaming spoiled brat.

My name is Meredith, and I am a sixteen-year-old toddler. These are my true confessions.

1. Sometimes I just sit on the couch crying over literary analyses and chemical equations that need to be balanced and life that needs to be figured out, and then I just holler across the house at the top of my lungs and demand leftover pizza and apple juice.

2. I sleep with a blankie, and have difficulty sleeping without my blankie.
Not to mention that I actually still have a blankie, not to mention that I still call it my blankie...

3. I am not above lying in the middle of the floor if I happen to be tired.

4. I'm scared of ordering for myself in restaurants, buying my own things in stores, and going in fitting rooms that have guards - I mean employees - outside.

5. I don't like brushing my hair.

6. I am a HUGE fan of Max and Ruby.

7. Goldfish crackers are my one weakness.

8. Dog = PUPPY!!!!!! Cat = KITTY!!!!!!

9. I really like crayons and markers.

10. I'm scared to cross the street by myself.

11. I still kind of get excited that I can use the big forks now.

And don't even get me started on the Toddlers and Tiaras girls. They are all my spirit animals.

Every. Day.

Out of the mouths of babes...

YESYESYESYESYES

Preach it, girlie.

Now I have to go study... *pouty face* I DON'T WANNA!!!!!!

Frozen

Okay, I'm as sick of Frozen stuff as the next person (I mean, just LET IT GO people!) 

BUT

Please watch this anyway. It made my life a little better.

Skepticality

I think I'm a skeptic.

Although, since a skeptic is someone who is "inclined to question or doubt all accepted opinions," maybe I'm just going to decide that my opinion about what a skeptic is differs from the generally accepted opinion about what a skeptic is. And how am I to know that my differing opinion matches with any other skeptics' differing opinions? Can we legitimately clump all skeptics/anti-skeptics into one category? What if I think I'm a skeptic, but the generally accepted opinion would say that I'm not? Does it still count? Is there any way to really know who's a skeptic and who isn't?

You could say I'm skeptic about being a skeptic.
Something else I'm skeptic about - why in the world isn't skepticality a word?
It should be. So I'm going to use it.

And I have now officially achieved a level of English lexical proficiency equaled only by Shakespeare.

If you can't find the word you're looking for, make one up.

There's something else you could be skeptical about - can you even do that?

So I definitely do question or doubt several accepted opinions. But certainly not all.
I don't question the opinion that people should work in order to get paid, or that getting a physical at the doctor's kind of sucks.
I'm a selective skeptic.

But there are a few things that I'm just not buying. And since I know you guys think I'm everrrrr so iiiiiinteresting... I decided to talk about me a little bit.

I'm skeptical quite frequently in my English Comp II class. For example, we recently read "A Good Man is Hard to Find," a very bummerific story. Apparently the author is well-known for her character development, which is supposed to be very good. One of the characters was described as having a face "as broad and innocent as a cabbage." So my teacher was telling us about all the possible meanings of that - cabbage is a very common vegetable, cabbage isn't especially pretty, cabbage isn't very well-liked, etc... And I was sitting there being very skeptical. Could it possibly be that maybe the author just happened to be from THE SOUTH where cabbage is LITERALLY EVERYWHERE and MAYBE SHE REALLY JUST MEANT CABBAGE AND NOTHING ELSE?
Of course not. That would be dumb. Of course the author wants you to read into every single thing they say and not just think, "Oh, cabbage, oh, okay, moving on."
Of course. I keep getting in trouble in that class for not taking assignments seriously. But really, there's no way that everything that literary analysts draw from just six or seven words is always perfectly aligned with the original intent of the author.

I am skeptical when it comes to hippie literary analysis.

I'm skeptical when using social media. I've talked about my social media before, so you all know I rather like it. However, a lot of people post things publicly with ulterior motives or just to spite one specific person and the rest of us are just sitting there like

 I guess that's not really something that makes me skeptical so much as something that really annoys me.
If you do this - please stop.
But seriously, consider Facebook poking for a minute. Other than being a fun and noncommittal way to annoy your friends (despite being invented just as a way to get someone's attention and let them know that you exist), why do we have it? I use it only because I like to pick on the people I like the most, and it enables me to do so.
But those of you who know me in real life know that if I want to get your attention, I'll either kick you in the shins, slap you upside the head, sneak up behind you and give you an energetic hug, make a weird animal noise, or - shocker - say your name (preferably in a really weird voice or accompanied by a terrifying face). I really wish that there was some way to mod your Facebook to allow for some of these more realistic actions.

You know, I got really off topic, and now I'm quite skeptical as to whether or not this post is going to make any sense.

But what if I decide my opinion about what makes sense differs from the generally accepted opinion about what makes sense? Would my sense still count as nonsense, or would it be sense, and just a different sort of sense? Or would it be nonsense to someone else whose sense is nonsense to me? Is there any way to truly define what makes sense and what is nonsense? And what if your opinion differs from my differing opinion?

Well, then you just might be a skeptic, too.

Valentine's Day Verse

Ah, spring - when ten year old girls' fancy turns to thoughts of love. Today is Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate all the people we love. And I'm happy because I have a wonderful Mr. Darcy quote for this post.

"I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love."

My little sister is an aspiring poet. Or at least, she wrote a few poems yesterday. And since "roses are red" is kind of an iconic cheesy love poem (albeit a super lame one), I thought it was entirely appropriate that it was, evidently, her inspiration.

And since it's Valentine's Day, I figured I would share her beautiful poetry with you. It is truly amazing and achieves a literary depth that is absolutely unprecedented.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Flowers are nice

And so are you.

That one was relatively safe. Although I must say, being told that I'm "nice" wouldn't be quite as heart-fluttering as the next one...

Roses are red,

Violets are red,

Trees are red -

Your garden's on fire.

That would definitely get my heart beating a little faster.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Your boyfriend's red

And you are blue.

He is blushing,

You're holding your breath.

He hands you a ring!

Now you are pink. :)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that one a few times before I understood it. Fortunately, the author was not difficult to contact and was quite helpful. Apparently in line 4, "And you are blue," you are blue because you're holding your breath. 

You must have been holding your breath a very long time waiting for that ring.

Also, I thought the smiley face was an interesting literary device.

And finally, my personal favorite.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

I'm holding a stapler,

You're holding your finger.

If you guys are struggling to figure out what to say to your valentine today (although based off of what I've seen on various social media sites so far, pretty much nobody has one), I would recommend one of these beautiful verses. They're sure to win the heart of any dashing gentleman or comely lady. Happy Valentine's Day!

On Puns

I like puns, most of the time. I think deep down, everyone has an attraction to cleverness that we can't really ignore. Maybe that's why so many people groan at puns (even good ones).

THEY LOVE IT AND THEY CAN'T HELP THAT THEY LOVE IT AND THEY HATE THAT THEY CAN'T HELP LOVING IT.

People are weird like that. We like to control ourselves and not being able to control something like loving puns deep down in our soul is uncomfortable.

Even though puns are a pretty basic form of humor, they are not completely ridiculous. Trust me, I have a diagram. Sort of. And everybody knows diagrams grant instant credibility.

I went all Aristotle on you all this time and actually organized and defined several different types of humor and arranged them by ridiculousness. The lower they are on the list, the more ridiculous.

The first and lowest form of humor is also my brother's favorite: anything crude. Yes, I know that various bodily sounds are funny - SOMETIMES - but how much thought does it take to make a joke around them? Not much. So even though this type of humor may be funny, it is certainly the most ridiculous.

The next type is actually divided into two sub-types: knock-knock jokes and puns. Since many knock-knock jokes are actually puns, I thought it was appropriate to combine them. After all, a pun is a play on words, so "Knock knock! Who's there? Etch. Etch who? Gesundheit!" is a type of pun. However, I also think that knock-knock jokes are a lower type of humor even than puns, so they do come below puns. Puns are defined as jokes that exploit the different meanings of a word. And they are fun.

As for the highest form of humor, that remains undecided. For a while I considered sarcasm, but to an extent sarcasm is just being mean under the guise of a humorous quip. (Which is partially why it's so much fun) Being mean is something that most people can do quite easily, and consequently doesn't require much thought, so sarcasm is not the highest form. Another type I considered was those irritatingly long jokes written as epic poems or novels or encyclopedias, but those bug me so much that I couldn't handle thinking about them long enough to classify them. Since this classification of humor is a work in progress, perhaps I'll have another post for you later, but since it is not yet complete, I'll just show you my instantly credible diagram and go study for finals. (It's amazing what I accomplish when I need to be doing something else, yes?)

Meredith's Typology

??

SARCASM

PUNS/KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES

C R U D E    J O K E S

Randomness

I'm weird.
I don't know how this happened, but it's true.

(I also wonder when it is that being weird became some badge of honor rather than a disgrace)

There are a lot of random things I randomly do/think/say/shouldn't randomly say, that make me the randomly random person that I randomly am, so naturally, I'M GONNA TELL YOU GUYS.

Top 10 Random Things About Me
1. I can go from really super quiet to REALLY SUPER LOUD AND SPASTIC in about 2.78 seconds.
2. I positively despise white chocolate. I think it's a disgrace to humanity and the good name of chocolate.
3. I say "Your face" in situations where it really doesn't apply at all, simply because it's become a knee-jerk reaction.
4. I am incredibly obsessed with Jane Austen movies, and particularly the romantic interests of the female protagonists. (i.e. Mr. Darcy, Captain Wentworth -AAAH- etc..)
5. I'm ridiculously paranoid about crossing the street. It takes me like half an hour to get across a fifteen foot crosswalk.
6. I don't like hot drinks.
7. I am against white mint chocolate chip ice cream. It must be green, or it doesn't taste right.
8. I am very easily startled by bugs, people, phones, potato chips, dogs, hats, sheet music, doors, backpacks, trees, glasses, lotion, water, frisbees, flowers, and did I mention bugs? I don't like bugs...
9. I'm kind of obsessed with the way things smell. My room has about fourteen different air fresheners (okay, two), I do happy dances over my body spray, and I immediately flip over any guy wearing a decent cologne.
10. I laugh loud, long, and a lot. (But most of you probably knew this already)
11. I'm not good with numbers.

HERE'S A RANDOM PICTURE OKAY BAI

Engines

In my Drivers Ed course.

Which mechanical part or feature listed in Module 9 do you think is most important?
I think the most important part is the engine.
Why is that particular part or feature so important?
The car can't be driven if the engine is not functioning properly.
How do you benefit from that part or feature?
If the engine is working right, I can drive the car, which is always a plus when driving.

I pity the person who has to grade my work...

How to Get Ununinspired

I realized that like my last twenty-six blog posts have started out with "I'm really sorry" or something along those lines, so this time I'm not even going to bother.

I regret nothing.

Okay, I lied, I seriously wish that I had posted at least one more time than I did over the last almost-month (which would put me at a grand total of one post). I do, however, feel that I had a good reason for my non-presence in the blogging world.

I was uninspired.

Yep. See that right there? That was me. Sad, but true.
As bummerific as being uninspired was/is, I know that I cannot possibly be the only person to suffer from it.

So here is a top ten list for you guys!

HOW TO WRITE UNUNINSPIRED BLOG POSTS

1. Look up quotes, think about them, and write your thoughts on them.
2. Think of a random top ten list to post. (I promise you guys this one actually does not apply to this post; however, I have used it numerous times in the past.)
3. Do something fun, unusual, exciting, adventurous, silly, unique, insane, adrenaline-pumping, dangerous, special, or crazy (preferably all of the above). Take pictures.
4. Find a really old picture and post a memory it brought to mind.
5. Post something random, funny, and so completely out there that all your fans will love you forever. (I like to think I'm an expert at this one)
6. Post an inspiring message about self-motivation, beauty, love, friendship, family, or something like that.
7. Read other people's blogs. (Oftentimes I find that I am not alone in leaving my blog untouched for long periods of time, and then I feel better about myself.)
8. Sit and think for a while before you start to write. I've found that some of my best topics come to mind at a whim.
9. Dissect a fetal pig.
10. Write a journal post. Not like an "OH DIARY LET ME TELL YOU THE SECRETS OF MINE INNERMOST HEART," but rather, let your readers in to your life. Let them get to know you, your interests, how you pass your time (Half my time is spent wishing that I was a better blogger), your family, and such like. It could be fun! ;)

Another thing that I've discovered is the power of the scheduled post. When I am in an inspired mood, I find myself  wanting to write post after post after post, but not wanting to overwhelm you, my readers. So I write as many posts as I wish, but schedule each for a different day. That way, you can cheat and make it look like you are a most inspired person, when really, you just wrote like ten posts in one day and spread them out. (Life hack right there, people. You should thank me.)

Now go! Take what I have taught you! Be ununinspired bloggers!

I wrote a haiku

Nothing good to say.
But I said it anyway.
So I guess I win.

The End

This blog was started in July of 2011, which means I've had it for nearly two years.

And it's been fun, let me tell you! Besides getting to tell you all about the fun things I've done over that short time, I've also been able to share some of my thoughts on more serious things. My blog has been a big part of my life for these couple of years. 

However, all good things must come to an end. I have the SAT coming up in a month, and piano, and all the other things of life that just keep one busy.

And so I must discontinue my blogging. 

Nearly 15,000 pageviews and 338 posts from that first one in July, I bid you all goodbye.

Hopefully someday I can pick it back up again, but until then, I will miss you all. Thanks for making this such a great experience for me!

LOLWKASF

I have taken to saying "lol" as of late in texting and whatnot.
But I have a confession to make.
When I say "lol", ninety-nine percent of the time, I'm sitting there without so much as cracking a smile. And I can guarantee you that as much as people say it, probably the majority of the time, that's the situation with them too.
Then why do we say it if we don't mean it (ninety-nine percent of the time)?
I think there are two main reasons why people say lol when they don't mean it.

1. Because it makes almost anything sound less serious.
"Lol I hate you"
"Lol my cat died"
"Lol that was soo stupid"

2. Because it takes up space when you have nothing to say.
"Haha yeah, so I was like eating a sandwich the other day and it was good lol!"
"Oooh lol that's cool"

If we were all truly honest, almost all we'd ever say is lolwkasf.
Laughing out loud while keeping a straight face.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.

On swag bro

So you think you've got swag?
Indeed...people like to get all up in my face with t-shirts, bracelets, and hats telling me all about their swag.
Which is fine, of course...but I must ask :
Do you even know what that means or where it came from?
Since obviously you DON'T, please allow me to educate your face.

Definition of Swag
Noun
An ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, and greenery: "ribbon-tied swags of flowers".
Verb
Arrange in or decorate with a swag or swags of fabric.

Let me get this straight...you've got an ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, and greenery?
Well...to each his own, I suppose.
What's that you say? Swag is but an abbreviation of a more appropriate term - swagger?

Definition of Swagger
Verb
Walk or behave in a very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive way: "he swaggered along the corridor".
Noun
A very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive gait or manner.
Adjective
Denoting a coat or jacket cut with a loose flare from the shoulders.

(Thank you, Google)

Seriously? You want to be "arrogant" and "aggressive"?
Since I assume that when you tell me you've got swag, you are not referring to your jacket, I must believe that you wish to be arrogant and aggressive.
Now comes the fun part.
I have heard several things about when the word "swag" came into use these days, and I have decided to ignore all of them.
I don't care how it came about. It's awesome because William Shakespeare invented it.
Yes, Shakespeare made up the word swagger, along with over 1700 other words.
And my dear readers, I must say it.
Yes, I got swag.
Shakespeare swag.

Being tired

There are lots of different types of tiredness.
Because our lives are incredibly busy (typical homeschool stuff),  I am frequently pooped. So here are my thoughts on the many ways you can be plum tuckered out.

In case you are interested, currently I have to say that the last form applies best to me right now. :)

(Also, I own a copy of Gray's Anatomy - like the medical book...not the TV show. Just wanted to tell you that.)

Physical tiredness - This occurs generally when you have been out and about all day, or have been running around like crazy at a friend's house, or after an exhilarating game of anything. Often when you are physically tired, your muscles may feel weak and possibly sore, and you will rarely have any desire to do anything.

Mental tiredness - This happens most often after a particularly challenging day of schoolwork. Occasionally, this will also happen after taking an important test such as the SAT. When you suffer from mental tiredness, you will probably find it difficult to motivate yourself to do anything but sit and watch TV.

Relieved tiredness - After an important event has taken place, you may find yourself feeling tired, even if you don't feel there is any reason to be so tired. It has been my experience that this happens because you devote yourself to whatever the event is so wholly that when it is over, you feel a sort of emptiness inside. This is one of the most irritating and also one of the best forms, as relieved tiredness will often result in new plans and goals.

I just woke up tiredness - Does this even need an explanation? No, it doesn't. Duh.

I just had the AWESOMEST time tiredness - This is actually a combination of physical, mental, and relieved tiredness. When one has spent nearly six hours with friends, playing, talking, playing, being crazy...you will experience this. As in...it's impossible to avoid.
(Although I'm not sure it can really be called tiredness. 'Tis a hard feeling to describe!)

Dancing Elephants, Politics, and Masks

Today, I saw an elephant in a tutu.
I know, it's only nine in the morning, and already something crazy is happening.
But it is true. (Mom can vouch for me...and SURELY my dual-enrolled friends saw it too)
But not only was the elephant in the tutu real, somehow it related to politics.
Now, I'm no politician, but I know that the elephant represents one of the two main parties...I think the Republicans.
Which makes sense, because there were also two WOMEN out there wearing MITT ROMNEY MASKS.
I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING. (Please note that I did not call them "ladies". There is a difference, ladies.)
So there were about five things wrong with this scene...
1. An elephant.
2. The elephant was wearing a STINKING TUTU.
3. There were women wearing Mitt Romney masks.
4. Mitt Romney masks even exist. (seriously, why?)
5. One of the women was checking her phone WHILE holding her sign. (really committed, aren't we?)
I'm pretty sure they could have caused a car accident because you just have to stare at them. It's called "train-wreck syndrome". You know it's going to be awful but you can't tear your eyes away.
So yeah, actually kind of glad I was pulled out of bed at the very last minute at seven o' clock this morning in the cold weather without time to get ready at all or even put on shoes.
WORTH IT.

Banner Elk post #4

Sorry for missing a day. I was gallivanting around being sprayed by a fire truck instead of doing a blog post.
So Friday was the last day and we all decided that we had to live it to its fullest.
Unfortunately, my camera batteries were dead, so I don't have pictures. :(
We went on a hike around the lake again, but we took a different trail this time. We decided to skip the Christmas tree farm and take the...um, Vanilla Trail. This trail goes right along the lake, it's kind of a scenic view, actually, and you're surrounded by trees. And then I think we lost the trail because we were right by the water and we had to hop tree branches and it was all getting quite life-threatening. Then some of my cousins started turning off up the hill to get up to higher ground. David, the one I decided never to doubt again, was forging ahead on our current path. Little did I know that we had actually left the trail and the other cousins were going back up to get on the trail. So I faithfully followed David until we came to this ridiculously thick patch of trees and I knew there was no way that we were getting through there, so I sheepishly turned back and joined the others on the trail. After we completed the Vanilla Trail, we had to hop down into the spillway of the dam (I think that's what it's called, that's what Cameron told me) and then climb up the other side. It was SOOO much fun! And then we got to go back to the swings! It was all quite enjoyable, and then we got to hike back around the lake again. So in all I ended up doing two full circuits around Wildcat Lake!
After that we spent a good bit of the rest of the day out on the lake! I'm going to keep the commentary to a minimum cuz otherwise I'll get all wishy washy and sad. :'(

 Betsy and Ben were chasing each other around. It was really fun to watch and listen to them! :)

 PJ had dropped his goggles somewhere off the shore and Uncle Paul was going to go try to get them, and he figured it would be easier to do so if he was swimming and not in a boat. Unfortunately, the water was kind of cold and Uncle Paul was a little hesitant to take the plunge. Finally he jumped in and after some whooping and hollering he swam over to look for the goggles. PJ definitely didn't just stumble upon the drama queen thing randomly; I'd say it's genetic.

 I was in a very depressed mood.

 Uncle Paul and PJ drew quite a crowd while trying to retrieve the goggles!

 The last day, PJ and the others finally started to be able to catch some fish! They got like five in one swipe one time!

 We were all starting to think that Shadow had died because we hadn't seen her at all all week and then in the middle of our baseball game on the last day, she showed up and made Jacob's day! She kind of messed up the baseball game though...

 Josiah, the latest cousin! :) (at least, I think he is, it might be Emily...)

 John David got to take out his own kayak! :)

 The view from one of my hideouts on the hill under the wooden cross. I was lying there reminiscing. And then I got up, and that was a big mistake. I'll tell you why in a bit.

 So I took this picture and then Aunt Rebecca caught me and she saw that I hadn't gone out in a boat at all yet that afternoon, and PJ was just bringing in a canoe and so she told him and me to go out, and I was cool with that! So I grabbed a couple life jackets and me and PJ started out.
And then came the fun, also known as Anna and Jacob in the paddleboat.
At first I thought they were just coming over to say hi or something, and then I saw the terrible, maniacal look on Jacob's face and I knew they were up to something much more malicious. I wasn't sure what to do and I thought my life was over right then and there. I was going to drown in four foot deep water because I freaked out. I gripped the sides of the canoe and started to hyperventilate. Jacob and Anna rammed us full on and I was like, "AAAAH!!!!!" until I realized that nothing had happened. They had pretty much just made our canoe wobble a lot! So we spent the next half hour being chased by Jacob and Anna, usually escaping because of our mad back-paddling skills and occasionally being broadsided. But that's cool, I was ready to get wet! Then it was time to go in and we hadn't tipped, which was kind of a bummer because after all that, PJ and I were SURE that we would end up in the water! So before we went in, we decided that we were going to tip the canoe. So we paddled out deep enough that we wouldn't hit our heads on the bottom (because we're obviously so very safety conscious) and then rocked back and forth, back and forth until that canoe tipped right over! It was super fun and I got super wet! :)

 PJ left his mark on the camp. :P

One of our traditions is that on the last night, the kids play with all these glow sticks. I've outgrown it by now, but I couldn't resist taking some pictures and sitting out there watching them for a while.
After we finished the cleaning part, me and some of my other cousins stayed up until like one o'clock just being crazy, and let me tell you, we got really crazy. We made total fools of ourselves and got it on video. Sooo...good memories. For sure. I just wish that I could take all of you there with me in person and show you everything, but hopefully you've gotten a little taste of Banner Elk!
Thus concludes my posts on BE. Now I have to actually seek out blogging material!

Memories from December

December was a very busy month this year.
It wasn't always busy-good, but nevertheless, there was always something happening.

First, the moms' Christmas party. I played the piano and helped the girls who were waitressing (I cleared one glass).

That's the table from the dinner they had. It was actually really pretty! I got to try the pecan pie and it was delicious!
Then, we had a busy Saturday. We don't have very many of those.

 We went to the farmers' market. Some of our friends were there. We had a good time. Even if it was sort of researching so we could think about the possibility of us setting up a stand to sell our artwork. I don't want to part with my art!

Then we drove to Gulf Breeze for Geoff's piano competition. He won. He was excited.
After that, we had a semi-boring week, with errands and school and stuff.Then we had our homeschool skating party. I didn't really skate, but I had a good time nevertheless!
I'm posting this picture even though I look awful in it (but then, so does everyone else) because I know you guys all understand. Plus, it best captures the essence of my skating party experience. Whoa! Something got messed up with the layout! Sorry! I can't help that the computer is stupid. :(


 Then, we went to Bellingrath Gardens with our homeschool group.
Out of about four hundred pictures, very few of them turned out the way I wanted them. Of course, I'm very picky about my art. (snooty artist face) After we went to Bellingrath, Dad got a call from my uncle that Grandpa was having some trouble speaking coherently. Grandpa told me later that, fortunately, he could still say, "Oh, forget it!" perfectly. Now you know where I get my sense of humor from! Grandpa is even joking around when he might have something wrong in his head!!! Anyway, Dad took off for Mississippi with Cameron and was gone all week.
Then we had our homeschool skating party. I didn't really skate, but I had a good time nevertheless!
I'm posting this picture even though I look awful in it (but then, so does everyone else) because I know you guys all understand. Plus, it best captures the essence of my skating party experience.
Then we had a crazy day at our homeschool co-op. Yes, it was crazy and I have pictures to prove it.

There are pictures of me, but let's just say that they might have involved chocolate frosting on my face and me laughing like a buffoon. And it was so bad that I will not even be sharing it with you. You know, I might need to make a new folder for my photos called "Bad pictures of me" to save time.
Then we had our SGA Christmas party, but I was working there and didn't get any photos. Sorry! I was decorated like a Christmas tree. I thought I would hate it, but it was fun. The price? I lost all of the small amount of dignity I had. Oh well. Egos heal.
That night we had rehearsal for our church's Christmas program. So I went. And I sang. And I went home. And I slept.
Then Dad and Cam came home.
The next day (Sunday) I went and I played the piano for Azalea Trace's church service.
That night was the Christmas program. I love singing in a choir, so I had a good time.
The next day, we all had vacation, so the whole family did some Christmas shopping. Mom and Dad gave all of the kids some Christmas money so we had all these places we wanted to go. We found this really neat store in Cordova Mall called Earthbound. It was full of all kinds of cool things. Everyone found something(s) they wanted. I got two necklaces, both of which are gorgeous. Then, we got another call from my uncle, but this time we found out that my great-grandma had died. She was eighty-something, I think. Dad and I ended up traveling up to Ohio on Tuesday. I ended up getting sick, which was no fun. Of course, going to a funeral is no fun, either. I had an interesting time meeting all of these relatives on the Stemen side. Let's just say some of them were a little strange. The night before we left, I had a good time playing pinball with some more relatives. I had never played on a pinball machine before, and I couldn't quite see all the way up it, so I had to stand on my tiptoes, and of course, everybody teased me for it. But they stopped laughing when I whipped them thoroughly. :) One of my dad's cousins is a bouncer in a bar, so he's a big, stocky guy. He didn't like that I was winning, so he started talking smack to me. But since I'm a big kid now, I smack talked right back--in your face! Anyway, I had a good time.
Then we went down to Mississippi for Christmas. We had a good time. We ate Burger King for our Christmas dinner. (It's OK, we made it up on New Year's Day)
We went shopping in MS, too, and I got some sunglasses, about three necklaces, and some other random stuff. I had a good time.
Then we came home and had a blast on New Year's Eve with our friends. The Air Hockey Incident didn't even ruin my night, even though all my makeup ran and I was kind of a mess. A hot mess, that is! :)
Had a good time there, then screamed out 2011! I kind of miss it now, though. A lot of good things happened in 2011...still, no use crying over spilled milk! Hopefully December 2012 will be just as wild! I love it that way--just no more funerals. I learned a lesson at the funeral, too. Always wear waterproof mascara to a funeral. Yeah, I was a mess there, too.