I Don't Volunteer

One of the latest developing fandoms is the Hunger Games fandom. And even though I wouldn't say I'm a member of the fandom, I did read the books and I've been watching the movies. And I am kind of a fan of the whole shebang. But not a member of the fandom. A fan, but not a fangirl. Get it?

But I was thinking last night while I was methodically raising and lowering heavy objects to develop muscular strength (because "lifting weights" sounds so terribly unladylike) and I arrived at a sobering conclusion.

I would die immediately if I was a Hunger Games tribute.

Here's why.

Reasons I wouldn't stand a chance in the Hunger Games

1. I lack a sense of self-preservation.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me, but I just have this tendency to forget to look both ways when I cross the street, or to not think that the math building bathrooms at school are pretty terrifying. Example: the other day we were at the park and I was climbing on the playground (naturally) and Cam wanted me to come join him on one of the other platforms. Rather than climb down the stairs and up the ladder, I decided to work my way across the elevated labyrinth of doom, and only when I was nearly finished did I realize that 1) I don't have a good sense of balance, 2) I was about ten feet off the ground, and 3) I would have hurt myself pretty badly if I fell.

Genius.

2. I don't have any survival skills.

If you've watched either of the Hunger Games movies, you'll remember that the tributes train for some time before the actual games to develop their skills for surviving in the arena. 

But I have no skills whatsoever.

Camouflage - nope. Brute strength - definitely not. Stealth - LOL you're funny. Hunting - no. Traps - no. Super cool knowledge of electricity and all things technology so you can attach copper wire to a tree so that when it gets struck by lightning Katniss can shoot an arrow into the arena dome and basically break the Hunger Games (oops spoiler) - uhhh.

3. I would have no sponsors whatsoever.

I can't think on my feet or be adorable or anything like that when I'm under pressure. So when I was being interviewed by the weird smiley guy for all of Panem to watch LIVE...

I would just totally freeze up and not be charming or anything and nobody would be plugging for me. And then I would be sitting there in the arena trying to Instagram a picture of the nightlock I found ("Gonna make a berry smoothie!! LOL #happyhungergames") and then my phone would die and I would need a charger cable.

And I would have no one to float me a charger cable in one of those magical silver balloons. Because I was uncharming.

4. I have not a lot of pain tolerance.

I can remember probably six different times that Katniss was basically mortally wounded in the arena and just gritted her teeth and survived. Meanwhile, I kicked a dumbbell last night by accident and I cried for ten minutes while cradling my poor toes.

My dad has a bunch of cactus plants in our backyard (because what could possibly go wrong?) and one time I got one of the spikes stuck in my foot. We spent probably thirty minutes sitting in the kitchen with me crying and screaming like I was being murdered (because I sure thought I was) and Dad getting gradually more and more frustrated until he finally ripped the thing out of my foot. And it didn't even hurt that much. I just don't like pain.

5. I can't climb a tree or jump over logs or swim or do anything in a non-clumsy way.

Rather than try to explain this one to you, I'll just show you a few images that should help you understand the extent of my clumsiness and why this would contribute to my ultimate demise.

My first comment when the movie showed the opening of the games where the tributes are all surveying the arena while standing on their little pedestal things that blow up if you move off of them before the official start was, "I would fall off and get blown up before I even had a chance to be brutally murdered..."

6. I'm too polite.

It's a little difficult to kill people when you wouldn't even call them a bad name or cut in front of them in line.

And so yeah. That's why the Hunger Games is not the game for me.

So as far is this is concerned...

Yeah, no. No thanks. I do NOT volunteer as tribute.

Randomness is fun - like glitter

Guys. Be warned. This is a post merely for posting's sake and I really have no idea what I'm going to say. It could get ugly.

Maybe we'll pretend I'm important for a while. That will be fun.

Okay, close your eyes and imagine that I'm a famous movie star/author/talk show host/comedian/chef/who even cares honestly. Just imagine that I'm somebody who's somebody instead of being me. All anybody wants to do is know what I'm listening to, watching, etc... Here we go!!

What I'm listening to: The Moldau (from Ma Vlast) by Bedrich Smetana; Christmas music from Charlotte Church, Straight No Chaser, and Josh Groban; and as always, movie soundtracks. Scads of classical music is a given for me.

What I'm watching: The usual Jane Austen era movies like Persuasion (which I watch at least four times a month), Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth or Matthew MacFayden?), Wives and Daughters (Roger is wonderful), etc... We're also watching Sherlock again, yay. I'm a fan of anything that makes me laugh, so I rarely say no to Spongebob. Musicals are nearly always acceptable as well.

Bored yet? Me too. Let's keep going.

What I'm reading: Although I'm really very bad at actually finishing books, I start reading lots, so currently I'm plugging away at The Disappearing Spoon, which is all about chemistry and such, Pride and Prejudice, which I've been reading for like the last three years, and The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict. It's written by the same author who did the Mysterious Benedict Society books, which I loved.

But now I have run out of stuff to pretend you all want to know about me. Plus it's lunchtime, and quite frankly, food beats words in my book. (My book must be a cookbook)

Fare thee well, my dear readers.

"This book has pores. It has features. This book can go under the microscope. You'd find life under the glass, streaming past in infinite profusion. The more pores, the more truthfully recorded details of life per square inch you can get on a sheet of paper, the more 'literary' you are. That's my definition, anyway. Telling detail. Fresh detail. The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies. So now do you see why books are hated and feared? They show the pores in the face of life. The comfortable people want only wax moon faces, poreless, hairless, expressionless. We are living in a time when flowers are trying to live on flowers, instead of growing on good rain and black loam. Even fireworks, for all their prettiness, come from the chemistry of the earth. Yet somehow we think we can grow, feeding on flowers and fireworks, without completing the cycle back to reality. Do you know the legend of Hercules and Antaeus, the giant wrestler, whose strength was incredible so long as he stood firmly on the earth? But when he was held, rootless, in midair, by Hercules, he perished easily. If there isn't something in that legend for us today, in this city, in our time, then I am completely insane."

-from Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury)

Chocolate

This morning has been totes fab so far! (I'm practicing my teenage girl speak, apparently!)
I slept until nine, read my book in bed until nine thirty, took my sweet time getting ready, then sauntered downstairs, ate a bowl of cereal while reading, read some more, then got caught reading and was made to do algebra. Ah, the life of a homeschooler! So besides that last part, it was great! Then I made some nom-noms (brownies) for the skating party later - so excited - and now it smells like brownies in my house! :)
Plus, I have a chocolate bar in my purse just waiting for me! I'm one happy girl! :)

Am I in trouble now?

Okay, so I haven't posted in a long time. Like more than a week a long time. So, I must tell you everything that happened during the time I was gone, right? Here goes!
Well, first, we drove to Navarre for a piano competition (where my older brother won $150).
Then, we had the West Florida Home Education Support League spelling bee. My younger sister Audrey won third place in the fourth grade, little bro Cameron won third place in sixth grade, I won first place in ninth grade (Nobody else was in my grade, so I spelled two words. Kind of an empty victory, I know, but I'll take it) and Geoff won first place in eleventh grade, so both he and I will advance to the Sandy Sansing spelling bee in January.
On Wednesday, on our way to drop Geoff off for his classes at PSC, we saw that Sacred Heart Hospital is putting up their giant Christmas tree. WOO-HOO! LET THE HOLIDAYS BEGIN!!!! We can now officially start listening to Christmas music.
On Thursday, we went to PE and played a kickball game. Although our team lost, as one of my friends said, "we won in awesome points." The best part of the game (for me anyway)was when I kicked the ball right over the head of one of the best players on the opposing team. It was fun while it lasted. What's not so fun is the ache in my foot now.
Last night, we were cleaning up the house for my grandma and grandpa to come visit. They'll get here sometime today. My sister and my room is right next to the guest room in our house, and we don't have a door on our room (because I used to slam it and lock it when I was, like, six), so we always have to make sure it looks good.
My library has expanded from one pink container to two and a big fat book sitting out on my bedside table. My Gray's Anatomy just doesn't fit in the containers, so it sits outside.

My Gray's Anatomy book. Well, it's not actually my book, it's a picture of someone else's book. But this is what mine looks like. So far I'm about twelve pages in, reading about the different kinds of cells. It's great because it's chock full of huge words that I don't really understand.

This morning I was on a walk with my mother and brother in the forty-degree weather in our neighborhood. We have a lake about a seven-minute walk from our house. This morning, it was so cool, because you could see all the water evaporating. It looked like the lake was breathing and you could see its breath. It was pretty awesome.
And then later today we will be cleaning some more. And some more. And then a little more, for good measure. Then I will need to finish reading Up From Slavery by Booker T. Washington. It's a really good book, interesting and all, but Mr. Washington's writing is very factual and not the most enjoyable to read. Once you get past the stiffness of it, though, it's a great book.