*FREE COOKIES*

Guys.

I'm a bad blogger.

I know you already knew that, but I still feel the need to say it (every single post).

Do you ever just feel like you're super boring? That's a terrible feeling for me as a blogger because it creates the following dilemma:

I know I have an obligation to you, my loyal followers, to provide delightfully charming and witty tidbits to brighten your day (Ha.) but at the same time I feel so indebted to you because you guys actually like my writing (unlike my first semester college English teacher) that failing to meet your expectations (aforementioned delightfully charming and witty tidbits) would be simply unthinkable.

So the simple solution is that if you all would just stop reading and liking my blog, I would feel a lot less pressured and then I might actually post.

But in reality I love you guys too much and that would be heartbreaking. Although I can always count on the random readers who pop up in obscure countries bazillions of miles away from me to stroke my ego...

NEVERTHELESS

Here I am, I am here, HERE AM I!

*waits patiently for applause, cheers, and other assorted sounds of rejoicing to die down*

Anyways. As usual, I did stuff this summer and I have stuff yet to do this summer (Even though there is less than a month of summer technically left, I plan to stuff some more stuff in because stuff is naturally meant to be stuffed in. Why would it be called "stuff" if one was not meant to stuff stuff into stuff?)

And as always, when I do stuff, I learned stuff. So here's the stuff I learned this summer.

1. If you're tired enough, anywhere is a very good place to take a nap.
2. People are odd creatures, ranging from very lame to very cool, and sometimes going very quickly from one to the other. As soon as you think you understand one, they remind you that you very much don't. I personally find this irritating.
3. I am not a tolerant person.

By the way - I actually thought about blogging a lot while I was doing various non-blogging activities this summer, mostly about how I wasn't blogging and how I felt bad about not blogging. Just FYI. (Did you think about me at all?)

4. Detroit (like Nineveh) is not a very nice place.
5. How to spell Nineveh.
6. Piano teachers are very scary people.
7. Telling someone "no" will not be the end of the world. I have a really hard time with telling people no or talking back to them at all, but I learned more or less out of necessity that it is not impossible, even for someone like me who is afraid of confrontation (and people).
8. Urban Dictionary is not helpful when you want to know accurate information about anything except maybe the term "subtweet."
9. When your diet is suddenly switched to nothing but cafeteria food, Hot Pockets, and ice cream, there is one thing that will become vitally necessary. Once you discover the magic of this thing, you will never go back to your boring life beforehand because this thing will give your imagination the boost it needs to convince yourself that every plate of cafeteria food is your mom's cooking. Or maybe it just hides the cafeteria food so you can't see it... Either way, this thing is gravy.
10. Little things make a big difference. Something that may be little or no inconvenience to you could totally change someone's day.

For instance, if you're casually driving eighty-five miles an hour down I-65 and you throw a gummy bear out your car window just for fun, it may stick on the windshield of an eighteen-wheeler carrying a lifetime supply of Hot Pockets and cherry Coke, causing that eighteen-wheeler to careen out of control over a cliff, plummeting into my backyard and thusly making my day better by a factor of approximately sixty-two. (We won't think about the truck driver because who needs that kind of negativity in their life?)

Are you convinced?

I'm going to stop now because ten is a nice, even number.

Like...wow. Look how even that number is.

Just a heads-up for you guys, there's a good chance that my life is going to become suddenly interesting sometime in the hopefully near future, so I will either be blogging a lot or blogging less than my current rate (so whatever is less than never) depending on what kind of interesting it turns out to be.

Isn't life so fun? You never know what's going to happen. Every day is full of surprises.

I hope the vast majority of your surprises are pleasant and that the unpleasant ones are not more unpleasant than necessary.

If you're still reading at this point, here's a virtual cookie and a free self-esteem boost: You're awesome.

On Sincerity

"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." 

A common enough aphorism, I'm sure. I know I've heard this one more times than I can say I always appreciated.

But as usual, it took me a long time to realize the full measure of wisdom in this saying (and chances are I still haven't got it all). Not only did it take a long time, it actually took some divine intervention.

As stated in previous posts, I am a girl. And as I am well aware, girls are very odd and often irrational creatures. And I'm about to tell you one of our greatest secrets.

We all hate each other.

Oh, sure, you may be my best friend, but you have nicer hair than me. You may be my sister, but WHY do you have such gorgeous eyes? 

We can't stand not having all the beauty, talent, intelligence, humor, charm, and wit when obviously every other girl does.

We hate you.

Nevertheless, we will rain down compliments on you like nobody's business at every possible opportunity.

Because we hate you.

"Ohhhhh my gooooodnessss girlll!!!! I loooooveee your hairrr!!!"

"DEM EYES DOE"

"Can you just not? Please? Like...just no. Stop. Ugh."

*shudder*

Sadly, I think I'm guilty of all of those examples and more.

Now don't get me wrong - girls can compliment sincerely. But in general, we don't think through what we're saying enough to even be completely sure that we mean it.

I've been thinking a lot about sincerity lately and trying to be more careful about not paying compliments that I don't honestly mean.

So this brings me back to the original thought. Compliments are always good, yes? So what's the harm in paying a few not-entirely-sincere compliments?

I was reading through Psalms earlier (because I really think it would be very hard to read too many Psalms - they're good for my heart and mind) and I came across these verses:

Help, LORD; for the godly man ceaseth; for the faithful fail from among the children of men. They speak vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak. The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things. (Ps. 12)

See that line that I put in bold? Does that sound familiar at all?

Well, I don't know about you, but it sounds an awful lot like those insincere compliments I told you about. And it doesn't sound like God deals very kindly with people who do that.

Don't be insincere with your words.

Not only does that passage in Psalms tell us what we should not do, it gives us something to aim for (I love when the Bible is this clear).

The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.

This is the standard that we should hold ourselves to. So perhaps it's time we rephrase those wise words from earlier now that the Bible has shed some light on the situation.

"If you don't have anything good, true, and sincere to say, don't say anything at all."

On Housekeeping

The family reunion is over for another year!

We traveled without event and vacationed very much with event. Which is good. I know that none of you thought about anything other than me for the last week, so I am happy to announce that you can rest easy that my vacation was a success.

Just a leetle housekeeping today. (It always used to confuse me when people would say "just a few housekeeping things" because I was like, "Wait. Are we cleaning stuff today?")

Meredith's annoying housekeeping items supplemented with Sherlock GIFs because they help the medicine go down:

1. For those of you who noticed that I changed the appearance of my blog yet again:

2. For those of you who like the changes:

3. For those of you who don't:

4. I'm finding it a little difficult to blog because my Pandora is going constantly and whenever I have a stroke of blogging genius, HERE COMES MY JAAAAAMMMMMM and I'm like

And then I forget whatever it was and I'm like

And naturally that makes blogging a little difficult.

That's all the housekeeping stuff.

Finally, I just want to communicate that I'm very proud of myself for not going like eight months without blogging. Keep in mind that this will be me every time I see this post, this post that I posted less than twenty-four hours after getting home from an exhausting vacation that normally would have hindered me from posting posty posts like this post.

And I'm really going to try to think deep, bloggy thoughts so I'll have stuff to talk to you about over the summer months without having to use Sherlock again.

And with that, I leave you with these summer wishes: May your tan never fade, may your ice cubes never melt, and may your shorts never ride up in the middle.

On Updates, Ramblings, and Dinosaurs

I just wanted to give you guys a quick (please emphasize this word in your brains because I mean it) update on what's about to happen...

If you've been following my blog for a while, as most of you have (and by the way, thank you and I love you for still being here even though I'm clearly a terrible and neglectful blogger), you'll probably remember my mini-series last year where I told you all about my family reunion, complete with pictures and all.

Well, that's happening again.

The reunion, not the mini-series. We'll see about any reunion-related material when I get back. Currently I don't technically have a camera so I would have to just write the whole thing and come on, guys - I'm not that entertaining.

So yeah, anyways. I'll be indisposed for the next few days because I'll be gallivanting around the forest and the mountains and having a wonderful time.

Consequently, I will not be writing, and consequently, I will not be posting here.

Which is nothing new.

But now I have an excuse.

So yeah! In case you think of little old me at all over the next week, just know that I really do miss writing stuff here, but I don't want to write all kinds of junk that you don't want to read (*cough* like this post *cough*) so I'm waiting to find my muse. Hopefully it will come at some point soon.

I hope that maybe you'll have some sort of thrilling adventure this week like I expect to! As always, thoughts and prayers are appreciated, especially for safety since even though climbing out to the very edge of a very steep and dangerous mountain precipice is probably not a very good idea, I'm probably going to do it anyway because I am very dumb. And then I will probably do it a few more times for good measure.

And also we have to drive a long way.

Anyways. This got long and rambling.

I hope to be back at the end of my vacation refreshed and renewed and ready to stop letting you guys down all the time, and in the meantime I hope things are lovely and ducky in your corner of the world.

Get it? It's funny because the world is round.

On Social Media

I like social media. I know a lot of people don't, but I do.

*SHRIEK* MY BABIES!!!

Part of the reason why I enjoy my Internet time so much is probably because I'm really not good at actual one-on-one human interaction. I'm getting better at faking it, but mostly, it's uncomfortable for me. (Excepting of course certain exceptions that are being excepted)
I'm always saying the wrong thing, or saying too much, or saying too little, or being in the wrong mood, or falling asleep, or thinking about pizza (really avoid that one if you can - drooling while someone's talking about school looks odd) - the list goes on.
And when I'm on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr or what have you, almost all of that is eliminated. (I still think about pizza, but nobody cares.) If I'm in a mood to say nothing, I say nothing. If I'm in a mood to talk on and on, I can talk as long as I want.
I know it sounds bad - Meredith doesn't know how to interact with humanity so she sits on the Internet all the time thinking about pizza.
But I promise, I'm not that kind of Tumblr user.
I don't avoid interacting with other people, and there are lots of times that I find it to be both enjoyable and fulfilling. I know that if I don't make an effort to talk to people one-on-one, I may get even worse at people-ing, so I don't scream and run away when someone says hi. Social media is just so much easier. It's like the difference between a live television broadcast and a pre-recorded one. In face-to-face interaction, there are no take-backsies, no do-overs, no begin-agains. If you make a mistake, you actually have to apologize for it. There's a lot of difficulty and awkwardness involved that simply isn't present in social media (Unless you're like me and you intentionally cause awkward situations with your friends because you think it's funny).
So is social media and all our advanced phone technology antiquating legit human interaction? I think maybe it'll try. After all, you can get pretty close to it with Skype and FaceTime, and a lot of social media sites are pretty in the moment. The gap between face-to-face and Facebook-to-Facebook is getting smaller.
But I don't think it will ever be totally the same. Even if I feel awkward with other people, I still like people in general (I don't know if they like me, but nonetheless). If I don't have that interaction in real life, I get depressed (maybe that's why so many people struggle with depression). We naturally have a desire for companionship that social media won't satisfy. We can manipulate it, we can invent new technologies, but they will never bring happiness (except maybe the new iPhone - it's pretty epic).
We're not meant to be alone. People are cool - PLUS sometimes they smell wonderful and give warm hugs.
So use your social media. Be addicted to it for all I care. But don't forget the real world. No matter how much you say you have no life (my Instagram username is meredithhasnolife, okay? I know I'm not the only one.) you DO have a life, and until you die, you're stuck with it. So make the most of it.

On Love

Now, now. I know several of you probably saw the title of this and freaked out. To those of you who just had a similar knee-jerk reaction to that of Mrs. Bennet in Pride and Prejudice upon hearing that Mr. Bingley is coming to town ("It is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.") I offer a hearty "pooh pooh" and tell you: CALM YOURSELVES.

This post is not going to be about falling in love. Check back in about thirty-five years for that one. (Sorry to disappoint.)

I've been hearing a lot about loving other people lately, from people who differ greatly in age, belief, personality, etc... So I just thought I would briefly offer some musings on the subject of love.

At Bible Conference at the college this spring, there was a speaker who talked about Calvary love, which loves in spite of all our shortcomings, and how this is the type of love that we should show in our lives. We love because love is of God and He first loved us, and we love unconditionally because that's how God does it.

Something that actually really convicted me about loving people was reading old letters from my cousin Sara. She was only about six years old, but what she said to me then really touched my heart reading it over again. (I'm going to change it just a little because the grammar and spelling is a little difficult to understand)

"I love you so much since you love me so much. Mommy loves you too for that card. Do you like this? Send your card to me and I will be happy. Will you be happy too? I hope you will be happy.  PJ loves you too. Philip loves you too, and Joshua and Caleb too, and Daddy and Mommy too.

The two best things are Jesus and love."

And in another one...

"Are you loving people?

I hope you are."

Sara's letters made me realize that I definitely have not been truly loving people. When you read her letters, you can tell that she was absolutely obsessed with other people - loving them, making them happy, putting them first. Seeing a little girl (albeit an extraordinary little girl) with so much capacity for love made me wonder how much more I should be able to love now. 

It's not always easy. People won't always love you back. (And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love -Ps. 109:5) 

But God so loved the world. The whole world. I think I can at least try to love the folks in my little piece of it.

Let brotherly love continue. (Hebrews 13:1)

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. (1 John 4:7)

On Puns

I like puns, most of the time. I think deep down, everyone has an attraction to cleverness that we can't really ignore. Maybe that's why so many people groan at puns (even good ones).

THEY LOVE IT AND THEY CAN'T HELP THAT THEY LOVE IT AND THEY HATE THAT THEY CAN'T HELP LOVING IT.

People are weird like that. We like to control ourselves and not being able to control something like loving puns deep down in our soul is uncomfortable.

Even though puns are a pretty basic form of humor, they are not completely ridiculous. Trust me, I have a diagram. Sort of. And everybody knows diagrams grant instant credibility.

I went all Aristotle on you all this time and actually organized and defined several different types of humor and arranged them by ridiculousness. The lower they are on the list, the more ridiculous.

The first and lowest form of humor is also my brother's favorite: anything crude. Yes, I know that various bodily sounds are funny - SOMETIMES - but how much thought does it take to make a joke around them? Not much. So even though this type of humor may be funny, it is certainly the most ridiculous.

The next type is actually divided into two sub-types: knock-knock jokes and puns. Since many knock-knock jokes are actually puns, I thought it was appropriate to combine them. After all, a pun is a play on words, so "Knock knock! Who's there? Etch. Etch who? Gesundheit!" is a type of pun. However, I also think that knock-knock jokes are a lower type of humor even than puns, so they do come below puns. Puns are defined as jokes that exploit the different meanings of a word. And they are fun.

As for the highest form of humor, that remains undecided. For a while I considered sarcasm, but to an extent sarcasm is just being mean under the guise of a humorous quip. (Which is partially why it's so much fun) Being mean is something that most people can do quite easily, and consequently doesn't require much thought, so sarcasm is not the highest form. Another type I considered was those irritatingly long jokes written as epic poems or novels or encyclopedias, but those bug me so much that I couldn't handle thinking about them long enough to classify them. Since this classification of humor is a work in progress, perhaps I'll have another post for you later, but since it is not yet complete, I'll just show you my instantly credible diagram and go study for finals. (It's amazing what I accomplish when I need to be doing something else, yes?)

Meredith's Typology

??

SARCASM

PUNS/KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES

C R U D E    J O K E S

On the Sunrise

The sunrise this morning was beautiful.

And while I was sitting watching it (because the natural thing to do at 6 AM is to curl up with your fuzzy blanket, open your blinds, and watch the day begin), I had a thought.

You know how all artists have a personal trademark or defining style? Like something to say "This work is mine, and I'm proud of it." Even though each piece of art may be different, that same style or trademark is always evident.

So isn't it the same with God's creations?

That sunrise was a work of art. You are a work of art. Every person, animal, and plant in this world is a unique work of art.

Now I don't start off the day looking beautiful, radiant, and sporting various vivid colors. (Those of you unlucky few who've seen me fresh out of a peaceful slumber know I look anything but.) But because I share a common Creator with that sunrise, the glorious trademark of that Creator is with me, too. Some part of the stunning beauty of that sunrise, no matter how small, I carry with me everywhere. God leaves His trademark on all of His creations. The heavens declare the glory of God, and so should we as Christians. It's my prayer that the trademark of God will be impossible to miss in my life.

So isn't that kind of cool little thoughtful thing to think about during thoughtful thinking time?

Personally, I liked my sunrise better, but this one is pretty stinking adorable, too.

On Gideon

I'm a girl.

Yeah, shocker, right?

Since I'm a girl, when I study the Bible, I have a tendency to ignore the guys and just focus on the girls (sorry, guys) There are lots of cool guys to study in the Bible, don't get me wrong, but Ruth, Esther, Rahab, Mary, Deborah, and all those awesome chicks have been there for me through thick and thin. But today in Sunday School we had a lesson about a guy that I really, really appreciated. It kind of stuck in my brain and is something I can apply to my life. Naturally, I will share.

Gideon was kind of like me. He wanted to do something great for God, and he loved the idea of it, but when the time came that God was ready to use him, he kind of chickened out and had to be babied along. Those of you who know me know that a lot of times I have really good ideas and plans, and I'm going to be amazing and adventurous and save the day, and then I wimp out and depress us all.

Anywho, here are a few random lessons I learned from Gideon.

We all know the story about how Gideon was called to deliver the Israelites from Midian. (If that's not ringing a bell, why don't you go enjoy Judges chapters six and seven?) So Gideon found out that God was giving him something he really wanted - a chance to serve. And what does he do?

He asks God for a sign that this was truly the Lord's will.

So God gives him one.

And then what does he do?

He asks for another sign.

I do this a lot. Because I'm WEIRD, I actually don't have much trouble trusting God through hard times. Oddly enough, it's when it actually starts to look like God is giving me what I asked for that I freak out. I think that surely I'm not going to get this thing I wanted and I try not to get excited because I know that I'm just going to lose whatever it is as soon as I start to think it's really mine. But that's not how God wants us to live. NO GOOD THING will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. We don't need to be asking for signs. Just trust that God will give you the desires of your heart.

Lesson number two: Don't be a chicken. When Gideon finally started leading his army to battle, and God was telling him to send people home, the first people to go were the people who were afraid. God can't use people who are going to be scared all the time. Only be strong and very courageous.

One last thing, which kind of goes back to the first one, follow through on your commitments. Gideon got what he wanted and was about to save Israel. Aaaand he got nervous again and was freaking out like "Oh my worrrrrd! The Midianites have like, a gazillion guys and we only have like threee hundred!!! We are soo dead!!! Oh my worrrd what am I gonna do?? I don't even knoowwww!"

Seriously, bro?

So God told Gideon to go down into the camp of the Midianites, which he did, and Gideon overhears these Midianite soldiers discussing a dream one of them had. He says that he dreamed that their camp was destroyed by like... bread or something, and one of his buddies is like "Well, we're dead." And then Gideon is comforted and ready to go conquer them.
Isn't that kind of sad, though? He literally was told like five times by the omnipotent God that He would deliver Midian into his hands. And he's freaking out and has to go get comfort from his enemies.

What?

Don't do that. Trust God. Trust Him, trust Him, trust Him.

And then Gideon conquered Midian (in a somewhat humorous turn of events) and they all lived happily ever after, until the Israelites decided to forsake their God and turn to worshiping idols again, which was a brilliant idea and doesn't exactly make for a great ending.

NONETHELESS, remember this lesson from the story of Gideon who conquered Midian:  Don't be afraid to step out and take what God has given to you.

On Time

Time is a sneaky little imp, isn't she?

When I was four, I was sure that I'd never make it to the first graders' Sunday School class on the second floor.
When I was nine, I was convinced I would never see the day when I would turn ten and reach the glorious double-digits.
When I was in eighth grade, I knew that surely I would never actually get to high school. (I'm still mentally stuck in eighth grade, though. When people ask me what grade I'm in I'm like, "Uh....")
And now, here I am, a junior in high school, positive that graduation day will never come.

Compared to some people, I'm basically a baby. Despite that, fifteen years is long enough to have noticed a thing or two about time.

First, I've learned that time does fly when you're having fun. It may not always seem to be speeding along, but once the good times are through and you're back to plugging away at everyday necessaries, you realize just how short those good times are. Enjoy them while they last. Ecclesiastes 3 says this: "I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God."

Second is that time is a terrible schizophrenic. One moment she's slower than a herd of turtles slogging through peanut butter, and the next she's charging ahead at blinding speed. Who even knows what time is? Is she a sunset? Or a walk on the beach? Maybe even a batch of cookies? Can she even be truly, accurately quantified? Time is similar to the verse in James that says that life is a vapour. It appears for a short time, and then vanishes.

The third thing I've learned is that giving a situation time and waiting on the Lord can do monumental things. I know that my natural desire when something is going wrong is for control. But I don't have any clue what I'm doing. That would be like me trying to grab the steering wheel from my mom while we're driving. She's been driving for thirty years, and goodness knows she drives me all up and down creation. I have no reason not to trust her to do it right. Why in the world would we try to take the steering wheel from our omnipotent God? We need to just calm down, give our situation to God, and trust His judgment and timing. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." And again in Ecclesiastes, "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time."

I don't claim to know much of anything, and these are just my personal observations and thoughts stemming from those observations. I may be way off-target, and that's okay. I have plenty of time to figure out the great mystery that is time.

On College Professors

I'm like actually giggling just thinking about writing this post... It's going to be too much fun.

I have been dual enrolling at Pensacola State for about a month now, so I've gotten pretty used to the way my teachers teach, test, and grade. And even better than all that businessy jazz, being me, I've found something humorous about each of them.

(I'm also going to use Rate my Professor to help me write this post, simply because I think that it's absolutely hysterical what other people say about my current teachers. I shan't name names, but maybe you'll know some of them anyway.)

I shall now tell you about my algebra teacher.

First of all, just understand that he is awesome. He's like the coolest ever (for a math teacher). He somehow manages to make his class fun, which boggles my mind, and I just sit there like

Yeah. It's pretty legit. Plus, he has an awesome beard and looks like Jeffery Dallas.

Next I think I'll talk about my American government professor. He comes to class every day decked out like he's heading off to Hawaii. He starts talking, and an hour and fifteen minutes later, he stops talking, and you'd better have written everything he said down. One student said that he "has a script of the entire history of the world memorized."

Next is my music appreciation teacher. At first glance, she looks like a sweet, kind old lady who plays the piano for her sad little Baptist church. But then she starts talking, and you learn that she is a past Navy officer with zero tolerance for rule breakers and high expectations. And when she sits down at the piano, she plays funky spunky chunky monkey jazz with high energy. So for her I say simply this: looks can be deceiving.

And now my English Comp I teacher.

He's super cool.

He's like fifteen minutes late to class all the time, which is fine by me because I get to sit and read and laugh inwardly at my apelike classmates. 

He never lets out less than twenty minutes early. 

I was really expecting to hate him, namely because of this review: "omg professor [name deleted to protect the innocent and also because this genius spelled it incorrectly] is a horrible teacher he is very confusing when he assigns papers then he turns around and grades like a nazi. i didnt learn anything and he needs to help the students that ask for it. i would never suggest taking him unless u love to write and can write super well right off the bat because otherwise u will b in the hole :("

Ooh, and here's another good one: "I would tell anyone that like the subject english not to take Mr. [Goodness people, his name is not that difficult to spell] He does not explain things to you well. I will say that he is a pretty funny man, but thats all I could say about him."

I don't know why I listened to those reviews in the first place, since they were obviously from very credible sources who would do well in an English class and know the difference between a "Nazi" teacher and someone who has expectations of his students... Totally.

This is my favorite class now.

My conclusion: College professors are an odd, widely-varied species which will never be fully understood or explained.

On trusting God

I think my friends all hate me these days. I always used to freak out to them about everything: school, friends, guys, my hair, sour milk - everything.

And now, I'm learning to trust God. And I've hardly a care in the world (The exception being my upcoming algebra class. I'm scared silly about that.) because duh. Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world. (I know that He who is in me is greater than whatever mysteries are contained in the wonderful world of algebra, too. I'm working on really trusting Him even with that.) Nothing can pluck me from His hand.

In other words: God ain't gonn let nothin hurt you, hun.

Since I've started trusting God and surrendered myself to His will for me, things have been so very different, I hardly believe it's all real. I've been blessed beyond what I could possibly imagine. I've been given crazy opportunities that I've never had before. I've made wonderful friends I would never have expected.

But I've lost some things, too. I've had to give up activities and interests that I truly enjoyed. I've lost some opportunities that seemed oh so appealing. I've lost some friends that I thought would be with me forever. It's hard to give up the things of this life. God didn't say it would be easy. But it will be worth it.

God seems to have fun surprising me more and more with the amazing things He has for me. It's crazy whacked out that I'm so blessed, because I don't deserve any of what I have. It's true that every day with God is an adventure. I never saw it so evident in my life before.

Change is one of those potentially scary, unavoidable things in life (like death and taxes). It can be intimidating to think of leaving your comfortable overstuffed sofas and root beer float world to venture into the unexplored who-knows-where, but God has promised to be with us all the way.

So really, what is there to be afraid of?

On cheeseballs

I am 15 years old.

Or 184 months old.

Or 803 weeks old.

Or 5,625 days old.

Or 135,010 hours old.

Or 8,100,650 minutes old.

Or 486,039,027 seconds old.

That's not really a long time when you think about it. But it is fifteen years longer than zero. ;)

And so, I have learned a thing or two in my lifetime. Now, I don't claim to be wise as King Solomon or brilliant as Albert Einstein, and I doubt I ever will be. However, I am friends with this girl who happens to know everything. And she teaches me new things almost every day. And we both figured something out recently.

And that thing is that people can be cheeseballs sometimes.

But that's okay.

No matter what you do, there will always be someone judging you. But they don't really matter. 

What's important is that you realize these six things.

1. God loves you.

2. You love God.

3. God is a part of you.

4. So you should love you. (Cuz you are pretty stinking awesome, you know.)

5. You should love other people. (Even the icky cheeseballs)

6. With all that love exuding from you, people won't be able to help but love you too.

Therefore, you win. (And I suppose you could eat the cheeseballs for dinner if you want...even though they're icky...) 

On an unexpected friend

Have you ever had one of those friends that you never expected to be friends with?
I have a lot of friends like that....probably because I have a tendency to be very judgmental by first impression.
However, have you ever had one of those friends where you not only didn't expect to be their friend, but the two of you hated each other at first?
I have.
And it's weird, but that person ended up being one of my best friends ever.
Funny how that works, isn't it?
I honestly have no clue when we stopped hating each other, and I don't know why we stopped, and I don't know how we ended up so close now, but at least one thing I do know: I'm so stinking glad it all happened the way it did.

And yup. What else is there to say really? God's blessed me so much, and I just wanted to share one of my blessings with you. :)

On motivation

I've been feeling a really odd feeling lately. And it's kind of cool! It's not a feeling that I get a lot, but when I do, it's usually a very strong feeling. And it is almost always induced by listening to awesome music. (In this case, a lot of Rachmaninoff and the Les Miserables soundtrack.)
I.
Feel.
Motivated.
WHAAAAAT????

Trust me, I feel the same way.

I've felt like doing things lately, and doing things well, and planning for my future, and all kinds of stuff. The only problem is that I am a selectively motivated person.

"Oh, I feel really motivated to eat those brownies!"

"Oh, geometry...uh. I feel really meh."

However, my motivation has accomplished a few things at least.
For one, my performance at piano camp went quite well. (post probably to come about that)
Second, I have at least picked my classes for the fall semester at Pensacola State, and have preferences for teachers too. All that's left is working out all the nitpickery of my schedule.
Thirdly, I have finally gotten back into running. Although in all fairness, stopping wasn't from lack of motivation, just injury. My ankle feels fine though, so I think I should be able to pick back up and regain whatever ground I lost.
Fourthly, I signed up for a Florida driver's safety course. In other words, I took the first step towards getting my learner's permit. In other words, I could be driving within a year.
And this has been your daily dose of terrification, graciously provided by yours truly. ;)

But yes! I have been enjoying my motivation; however, I need sleep so I kind of hope it wears off soon.
A few random blog announcements: I am hoping to do a post (or six...) about my family reunion, similar to the way I did last year. We shall see. There's an awful lot to say and I don't want to bog you guys down. Also, I will be going to camp again in three weeks so unless I schedule posts throughout that time, I shall be a nonpresence for a bit.
Okay. I hope you guys all have a wonderful week! <3

On running

So guys, I've started running lately. I had kind of started in January (cuz after I volunteered at a half marathon...well let's say I was sort of inspired)
While I certainly haven't become an elite runner or anything, I have improved incredibly! I have run a mile straight through now and I'm gradually building up my endurance. My goal is to do this 5K in May that looks like soo much fun! I know I probably won't be able to run the whole thing straight through but at least I hope to run some of it. And even though most of you guys who read my blog don't need tips from me about running, I would like to share some things that have helped me!

1. FIRST AND FOREMOST: I have had amazing friends (two in particular) who have encouraged and motivated me SO much! Without them I know I would have stopped a long time ago.
2. Get good music to run to. ;) Part of what has helped me is getting Christian songs with lyrics about how God will give you strength, or how He's always with you. When I really want to stop, I think about the words and talk to God and it helps me keep going!
3. Warm-up walk.
4. Stretch afterwards. It'll help keep your muscles from cramping up.
5. Don't push it. All good things come with time and effort. It took me about three months to do a mile. If you overdo it then it'll hinder your progress.
6. When I'm running and my muscles are working so hard and I just think I can't, I remember that God made my body so that it CAN. Even if it's only a little bit longer/faster, that thought always encourages me to do better.
7. Cool-down walk.
8. Don't think about it. When you get that itch and you just wanna run, go put on your shoes right away and get outside before you can talk yourself out of it. Seriously.

And yeah! I'm hoping to stick with this for a long time yet! 

On Easter

Well, as I'm sure most of you have figured out, I am NOT done with blogging.
As in, APRIL FOOLS! xD
Haha...aha...
Now on to business.

This weekend was Easter, and you all know what that means!
(Besides the fact that it's like the most important holiday in the whole stinking world - think petty, okay?)

EASTER CANDY!
Now my family has never done much celebrating for Easter, even an egg hunt was a rare occurrence for us. However we do generally get at least a few pieces of candy. This year I was SUPER pumped to find Snickers and Reese's in my basket (my favoritest chocolatey munchies)
Yesterday a certain wish at 11:11 came true when I got a Snickers. :)
But yes. I got candy. :)
Also, we were in Mississippi for Easter, as my dad's birthday was the day before. We were visiting my grandma and uncle. We haven't gone to church in Mississippi for a long time, and we didn't this time either. That kind of gave me a new take on these Christian holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc...) A lot of times we just get so caught up in the traditional sunrise services and Easter ham that we forget the real reason why we're celebrating.
I got a chance to think about it some on Sunday and to talk to my friends and even though I was miles away from them, together as Christians we were celebrating that our Lord is alive, no matter who tries to keep Him down. That's why we celebrate Easter. I'm not saying that any of the things we do to celebrate are wrong. Just keep in mind why we're doing them.
And may you get some candy while you're at it. :)

On David

I heard a very good message last night in youth service about David.
It was from Psalm 78:70-72, which reads, "He chose David also his servant, and took him from the sheepfolds: From following the ewes great with young he brought him to feed Jacob his people, and Israel his inheritance. So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skillfulness of his hands."
That is just like the coolest thing, and the pastor emphasized this to us, God CHOSE David. 

The creator of the whole world chose a boy, just a lowly boy. Why did God choose him?

The reason why God was able to use David was because David was in His will, even though it wasn't anything spectacular. He was doing what God meant him to be doing, and because of that God blessed him and gave him glory.

Right now, generally God's will for me is to be in school, submitting to my parents' choices for me, because they know better than I do. And if I'm doing that and seeking God with my whole heart, I know that when the time comes for me to move on to doing things on my own, everything will be alright because I'll be in God's will for me.

David may not have wanted to be a shepherd and he may not have liked always being passed over because he was younger, but he knew that God expected him to obey his father. Because he submitted to God through his father, he was blessed beyond belief. He submitted in the small things, so God knew he could trust him to lead Israel. 

And ultimately his humble childhood was for the best. The training David received and the wisdom he gained and the closeness to God that he achieved while watching the sheep prepared him to be king, and more important than that, to be called a man after God's own heart. 

That's the title we all should seek to claim.

On musical nerdship

I think that generally I would be classified as a music nerd. After ten years of piano lessons, the last few of which have been with the most amazing teacher I could have, music has become a huge part of my life. Honestly until I had to go without it for a few days I didn't really realize how important it is to me.

I don't like to practice the piano very much, as you probably know, and those of you who do know me probably could guess that. 

I have attention deficit hyperactivity dis - OOH SHINY!!

But I actually missed practicing when I didn't have a piano at my disposal 24/7.

So yeah. But let's see if you too are a music nerd.

YOU MIGHT BE A MUSIC NERD IF...

1. If you know the proper way to pronounce Chopin's name.
2. If you can name more than five composers besides Beethoven, Mozart, and Bach without batting an eye.
3. If one of your favorite games is Guess the Composer.
4. If you know that one does not simply leave a piano unplayed.
5. If you hear wrong notes in Sviatoslav Teofilovich Richter's performance of Rachmaninoff's second piano concerto.
6. If you've ever heard of Shostakovich, Scarlatti, Cimarosa, Kabalevsky, or MacDowell.
7. If you practice chromatic scales just because they're fun.
8. If you recognize the importance of warming up before performing.
9. If you can tell that a piano is out of tune.
10. If you like to guess what note random sounds you hear are hitting.
11. If you know that Beethoven was considered the last composer of the Classical era and the first composer of the Romantic era.
12. If you know NEVER to clap in between movements.
13. If you're nodding your head and smiling right now, you might be a music nerd.

If you too are a music nerd, hold your head up high and be proud.

On Grandpa

My grandpa passed away a few weeks ago.

Even though we knew that he was close to the end I can't say that we were ready.
Although, is anybody ever ready for a loved one to die?
I love all my grandparents but I have to say that I had something special with Grandpa Stemen. He was always making me laugh and embarrassing me. (Like the time he had everyone in Cracker Barrel sing Happy Birthday to me)
I got him back though, one time in WalMart I loudly declared that he had coffee breath and told him to get some gum for his breath.
He taught me a lot about a lot of things. Even though most of my friends never got to meet him, he still influenced them through me.
If I've ever teased you or picked on you, that's Grandpa. He picked on everyone he loved.
If you've ever seen my tomboy side, that's Grandpa. He took me fishing and watched baseball with me and showed me that I can still be a girl while having fun.
If I've ever told you a joke that just makes you want to lose hope for humanity, I probably heard it from Grandpa. He loved to laugh and make people laugh. (Even if that meant stooping to the obscenely lame)
That was one of my favorite things about Grandpa: he made me laugh.

One time I was fishing with him (I was probably nine or ten) and he had to put the minnows on my hook because I didn't like to touch them. I walked down to a spot underneath a drooping tree, checked my hook, and flung my line. I was a little overambitious, however, and my poor minnow flew through the air and got caught in the tree. I hollered at Grandpa that I needed a new minnow. He laughed and baited my hook again. I cast the line, and once again, the minnow flew off the hook and into the tree. Grandpa was cracking up by now and told me that we should name the minnow Tarzan. He gave me yet another minnow and once again, its final resting place was the tree. Grandpa told me that my minnows had earned enough frequent flier miles and told me to move to a new spot.

I don't know that I'll ever be able to go fishing again without remembering my minnows and their frequent flier miles.
He taught the whole family to laugh. Even at his funeral, there were smiles and jokes exchanged. Perhaps that was because we realized that Grandpa wouldn't have wanted us to be sad. There's a hole in all our hearts now that won't be filled until that day when we see him again, but we don't grieve without hope.
At the funeral Geoffrey and I were the only family members in the room when the coffin was closed, and I have to say I don't feel bad for those who missed it. It was awful having to see my grandpa, who was always the life of the party, closed up in a box that was destined for some hole in the ground. It felt so wrong to see him, but not him (because he's in Heaven now) lying there, not really there, only a shell. The family came in, people said things, we cried...Geoffrey and I played the piano (I barely kept it together because Grandpa loved to hear us play) I played the piano (like a true church pianist) for one of Grandpa's favorite hymns, To God Be The Glory. I went up to the piano and picked up the hymnal from the side of the piano. Holding true to my luck, I dropped another hymnal on the keyboard somewhere in the nether regions of the lower keys, creating a noise more horrible than anything I ever knew a piano could make. I was mortified but I know Grandpa would have laughed.
The scene at the graveside was morbidly picturesque. It was exactly the kind of day you would expect for saying goodbye to a loved one. The sky was the palest grey and the wind was cold and biting. We gathered around and I wondered if anybody driving by and seeing us would care how greatly this affects our lives. Things will never be the same. We'll always miss Grandpa, but he's having a grand time with everybody in Heaven and we'll follow him soon.

Heaven got a whole lot more awesome a few weeks ago.