I'm typing in a really random and off the wall title just to see if anyone even notices. If you did, congratulations! You win nothing at all! And seeing as it's going to be crazy long compared to all of my other titles I feel confident that everyone will. Drop a comment below if you noticed! :)

Dear readers,
I am very sorry for my unexcused absence over the last week.
My life has been crazy nutso busy. SO! Some interesting things I have learned this month!

1. The world is full of creepy people. Thankfully I always run into them with my friends. :)
2. The VAST majority of people are decidedly not creepy. Be friendly. But be careful, cuz I love you and I don't want you getting hurt...
3. Starbucks is amazing....but the Drowsy Poet is better.
4. Being decorated like a Christmas tree isn't all that bad.
5. You can fit more people in one mini-van than you might think. Note that I did not say it would be comfortable/legal/safe/any of that good stuff.
6. I love Reese's.
7. Be careful when posting vague status updates on Facebook. You can scare your friends and family.
8. Santa is not real. :(
9. Tumblr is seriously addicting. Dangerously so.
10. Beethoven's Ninth Symphony is one of my favorite pieces of music ever ever.
11. Never EVER say, "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I can hold it!" when there's a bathroom available. Always go pee when you have a chance.
12. If your hands are turning purple, take a break from handing out water.
13. Homeschoolers can have fun with nothing but wooden spoons and taco shells.
14. Spanish Gru is ridiculously annoying.
15. Sarah J. draws excellent mashed potatoes.
16. Sometimes when you volunteer, you get free beanie babies.
17. Pensacola has some of the weirdest weather in the planet. Seventy degrees one day, thirty the next. Wut...
18. I have the best friends in the world. Yes, you. You too. Stop blushing!

I'm not sure how much I'll be able to post over the rest of break...but I do hope that in the spirit of the season you can find it in your hearts to forgive me! <3
Merry Christmas everyone!

On swag bro

So you think you've got swag?
Indeed...people like to get all up in my face with t-shirts, bracelets, and hats telling me all about their swag.
Which is fine, of course...but I must ask :
Do you even know what that means or where it came from?
Since obviously you DON'T, please allow me to educate your face.

Definition of Swag
Noun
An ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, and greenery: "ribbon-tied swags of flowers".
Verb
Arrange in or decorate with a swag or swags of fabric.

Let me get this straight...you've got an ornamental festoon of flowers, fruit, and greenery?
Well...to each his own, I suppose.
What's that you say? Swag is but an abbreviation of a more appropriate term - swagger?

Definition of Swagger
Verb
Walk or behave in a very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive way: "he swaggered along the corridor".
Noun
A very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive gait or manner.
Adjective
Denoting a coat or jacket cut with a loose flare from the shoulders.

(Thank you, Google)

Seriously? You want to be "arrogant" and "aggressive"?
Since I assume that when you tell me you've got swag, you are not referring to your jacket, I must believe that you wish to be arrogant and aggressive.
Now comes the fun part.
I have heard several things about when the word "swag" came into use these days, and I have decided to ignore all of them.
I don't care how it came about. It's awesome because William Shakespeare invented it.
Yes, Shakespeare made up the word swagger, along with over 1700 other words.
And my dear readers, I must say it.
Yes, I got swag.
Shakespeare swag.

I'm actually kind of upset at this...nobody remembered that my favorite candy is Swedish fish!! :'(
It's only my most favoritest candy ever on the whole planet!!!
However, most if not all of you did know that my favorite color is pink, which is good since I only talk about it all the time. It's nice to know that people listen to my bloviations. <3

On Talking

Have you ever thought about how awesome communication is?
I don't mean email, texting, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Blogger, Storylane, iPhones, Facetime, Skype, Oovoo, Instagram, Flickr, and Google+ either.
No, I speak of the old-fashioned method.
I don't mean telephones, letters, telegraphs, or the Pony Express either.
I mean the OLD-fashioned method.
I'm talking about talking.
It's one of those MONDO blessings that God has given us that we take for granted. The ability to express our thoughts and feelings to other human beings and to receive such expressions of their feelings is truly amazing!
And don't ya know, there's one very interesting thing about talking. And that thing is WE ARE EXTREMELY UNORIGINAL.
Of course, we can't be completely blamed, considering that the English language itself takes many if not most of its words from other languages.
But the people we hang out with also affect our speech.
I know I've picked up some sayings from my friends, as have they from me. (that's not really proper grammar there but it sounded funny!!)
There are some things that my friends say that I just intentionally start doing, because my friends are awesome and I want to be just like them when I grow up. All of them at once.
Examples : YOLO, like a boss
And then there are the things I start saying unintentionally solely because I hang out with people so much.
Examples : calling people "love", "darling", etc... (which was a bad habit to get into, a fact a certain random UPS guy I encountered one day can attest to), calling my guy friends "son"
And then there are the things that I intentionally DON'T say because I think they're dumb, or stupid, or inappropriate, or just for the principle of the thing.
Examples : donesow (just typing that made me want to facepalm), fail, EPIC fail, BLONDE JOKES IN GENERAL
By the way, did anybody else notice a trend in the last category there? Just me? Okay...
I have picked up a LOT of stuff from other people, and probably more than I can remember because I've been saying it so long that I now think that it's a part of my own vocabulary.
What words/sayings have you picked up?
I pity anyone who has gleaned  any of their everyday vocabulary from my interesting terminology.