Unprepared

I would never tell you I'm a procrastinator, but I'm starting to think my subconscious is. I generally do some sort of post that tips its virtual hat to traditional New Year's goings on.

(This is what the virtual hat looks like, in case you were wondering. Dapper monocle dog not included.)

However, I have generally done this hat-tipping post a little closer to January 1st... Generally by now I've already given up on any silly resolutions that I've made and I'm so over the new year.

HOWEVER

I'm actually still pretty excited about this year. Even though school starts this week and I'm having difficulty coping with that, I think this will be an interesting year (hopefully in a good way).

(Oh and in case my last gargantuan post scared you, this one will be as short and to the point as I can manage - fear not.)

I know I have some big and scary things ahead of me this year, but what really intimidates me about this coming year is that not only will I be dealing with some pretty big stuff, no matter how thoroughly I think I have prepared for my future, I still know not what a day may bring forth. And if there's one thing I hate, it's not knowing what I'm doing. Nothing throws me like being in an unfamiliar situation and not knowing what to expect or what's expected of me.

As I consider how clueless I really am about my future, I think about the story of Job in the Bible. I doubt if Job woke up one day and thought, "Wow, today is the day that God will take away the people I love most and all of my worldly possessions, casting me into such deep depression that I resent the day that I was born."

It certainly hasn't been my experience that God lets me know every struggle that I'll face ahead of time. But I also don't think that I want to know.

One common characteristic among humans is a blissful lack of awareness of how weak we are. This combined with "common sense" telling us to prepare for our future as much as possible leads me to the conclusion that if we knew everything we would have to deal with ahead of time, we would foolishly try to handle it in our own strength. 

And undoubtedly, we would fail.

So even if Job had known ahead of time how God was going to try him, what could he have done differently that would have helped? (Trick question - the answer is nothing.)

I've read a lot of stories about people who have accomplished amazing things, and it always strikes me kind of funny when one of those people says, "I didn't know it couldn't be done, so I just did it!"

I feel like that's kind of how we should approach our uncertain future. Yeah, there are going to be things dropped on me that I'm not expecting right now. (Mainly because all I'm expecting right now is to struggle through calculus class, make an idiot of myself in public speaking, graduate in May, and start college in the fall - so there's lots of room in my year for unexpected situations.)

We don't know what's going to happen, so we can't possibly know how to prepare for it completely.

But returning to Job, here's something I can know.

Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside. I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food. But he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back? What he desires, that he does. For he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind. (Job 23:8-14)

My Savior is faithful, and His strength is made perfect to me in weakness. The Bible even teaches us to rejoice in our infirmities because Christ is magnified in us when we're weak.

Luck may favor the prepared, but God favors those who trust in Him.

So yes, I'm a leetle nervous about what might happen this year, but I also realize that while God will do what He will do, I won't have to handle it alone. Which is good, because I'm starting to realize that I'm kind of bad at things that are actually important.

I'm going to rip off last year's hat-tipping post and continue my decision that rather than making resolutions for the new year, I'm going to focus on a principle that I really want to remember through this year. 

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. (Psalm 77:11-12)

God is always faithful.